My 7 takeaways from travelling alone
You might think this is yet another article by another solitary wanderer… Well, hear me out and only then decide. Who knows? Maybe my story will be different from the others?
We all have different reasons for travelling alone, and by travelling here I mean the personal travels, not the business trips for which we are usually obliged to travel solo.
Some of us get inspired by the Elizabeth Gilbert’s book: “Eat, Pray, Love” and simply want to live the same experience as she did. Some of us were actually planning to travel with someone, but in the end it turned out that the person couldn’t come with us (it was a boyfriend/girlfriend whom we broke up with just before, or it was a friend who had a sudden change of plans). Or… some of us do it just because they want to.
My reason was very simple: I WANTED to do it! I wanted to try it out and see if I like it or not, especially that I had heard so many positive opinions about it. Another important factor was that it had been quite an intense year for me, both on the professional and the personal side, and I felt I really needed some time off just with myself, to free myself from the daily-life noise, to put some thoughts in order and to simply relax…
This journey of almost 3 weeks, on the East coast of the United States, was definitely one of the best holidays I have had so far, and will most probably remain one of my best travel memories. Not only thanks to the places I visited and the people I met, but also because I learned a few things about myself, I discovered my limits are not actually where I thought they were (I am actually capable of more than I think!), and because I managed to surprise myself at various occasions.
If you’re still hesitating whether travelling alone is actually for you, let me share with you some of the key takeaways I brought from my own solo trip that one summer.
It might be scary first…
And it’s normal if you have fears before embarking on your first travel alone. I had them as well. I was afraid something might not go as planned, I was afraid I would meet some mean people, I thought it might be dangerous to find yourself alone in places you don’t know. But most of all — I didn’t want to feel too lonely. Although I was used to spending time alone, being alone far from your home was a completely different thing, and completely new.
…but it’s really worth it in the end!
Remember all those situations in which you found yourself and where something seemed hard until you actually did it? And when it turned out that the thing wasn’t actually so hard to achieve? Well, if you know that feeling — you will most probably experience it again, and travelling solo will be one of them I’m sure! I still recall that precious moment, when I was in the plane back home from Miami, and just before falling asleep I thought: “I DID IT!”. I was really proud of myself! I managed to overcome my first fears, I did it just the way I wanted and I had sooo much fun doing it! Some people were telling me: “Waow, you’re so courageous to travel alone, to places you don’t know!”. But for me this was not about courage, it was all about the strong desire to make happen the things I really wanted.
Good planning is key
As much as I like spontaneous turns of events, for this trip I wanted to have the least possible of unexpected situations happening to me. That is why I made sure I had everything booked before the day I left. I admit that I booked a few things in a really last-minute mode, but at least the moment I got on that plane to NYC — I knew I had everything scheduled and organized.
I don’t think I have to remind you that it’s good to make copies of all your important documents, in case you lose anything or it gets stolen from your handbag or backpack. I assume you already know that very well!
Another thing I did though was sending the complete schedule of my trip (the exact dates and hours of all my flights, the addresses of hotels where I was staying) to my parents and a couple of friends. Just in case something happened — they would know at least where to look for me. Fortunately they didn’t have to use it for the initial purpose, but they rather had fun tracking me ;)
Me, myself and I
What I personally liked most about travelling alone is that I was able to do what, when, how and where I wanted to do it. I was the only decision-maker on that trip, so whether I wanted to spend 4 hours in a museum, wander around with no real goal, sit on a bench and just read or write in my journal, look at the sky and observe the world and the people around me — I was doing it. I was eating when I was hungry and not because somebody said: It’s noon, we should have lunch! (especially that in USA you can basically find something to eat at any time of the day, not like in France where most restaurants serve food only around the lunch and dinner time). I even went 3 times to cinema (in NYC, Washington and in Miami) — who does that on holidays, right?! Well, I did it because I COULD! And nobody was there to tell me not to go ;)
Digital detox or not?
When my friends learned about my “big” trip plans, the reaction of most of them was: Send pictures everyday, post them on Facebook! I knew I would make some pictures but my first idea was to actually make them public only when I come back, and during the trip just “cherish the moment” and enjoy it just for myself. But in the end it turned out that being alone on holidays and visiting all these places by myself — I actually wanted to share them with “my” people, as much as I could. So I ended up posting them every day on Facebook or sending them by texts, so that my family and friends can know where I am and what is going on with me.
One important thing I should mention: 3 weeks is quite a long period and I am an only daughter. You’re probably guessing already what I will write next… Yes, I bought a US sim-card as soon as I got to NYC. Mostly for my own security, I didn’t want to rely only on my French phone (and super high costs of using it if I had to), but also so that my parents can call me and I can call them whenever we want. I can tell you, hearing your parents’ voices so far from home, and knowing that it makes them soooo happy to hear you — it’s truly priceless! So… as long as you enjoy being alone somewhere out there in the world, please remember that there are still people who might be caring and worrying about you back at home…
You will meet people
There is no doubt about it! Well, maybe you should not expect everybody on the street reaching out to you just because you are alone, but you will still get to meet really nice people, sometimes it requires just a bit of openness and a smile on your face. And then you naturally start a conversation and it just goes by itself. It can be just a waiter, a ticket seller, somebody standing in the queue with you, your Air BnB host or some really nice girls renting a room in the same house as you do — just don’t be scared to talk to people, or to reply when they ask a question. Sometimes people might even ask you for directions, and then you’re like: “Oh waow, I don’t look like a tourist, they took me for one of the locals!”. That feels very nice, I can tell you…
To those who have known me for years and who know me very well, it won’t be a big surprise if I say that I am a naturally shy person. Well, ok, I am not as shy as I was when I was 5 years old, but I am still somehow shy. The truth is, that trip “unblocked” something inside of me, I find myself more open today than I was before these holidays, I am able to talk to people (as funny as it may sound, I think you know what I mean by that), I feel more self-confident, and that is probably because when you find yourself alone in places, and when you need to ask for something because there’s nobody to do that for you — you just do that! And once you do it a few times — it becomes natural, it becomes part of you, your “new” you.
Eating alone
Ok, I admit, that is something I was dreading most. Sitting alone in a restaurant, with that empty seat in front of me, with nobody to actually talk to, and all those people at the tables around me just looking at me and probably feeling pity. Well, that was the image I had in my mind before the trip. What do I think now? OMG, eating alone can be really cool! First of all, you have no trouble in getting a seat, and I really enjoyed replying “Just one!” when asked “How many are you?” by the waitress. Second of all, usually you are not the only person eating alone, so in the end it’s not that big of a deal, nothing extraordinary actually. And most of all — if you’re a good observer, you get to observe A LOT the other people’s behaviours: the families, the couples, the tourists, the locals… You see things you wouldn’t probably see if you were sitting with somebody, because you would be mostly occupied talking to your dinner companion.
Although in US you are mostly expected to eat quickly and go (not like in France where you can sit at a table for hours and the waiter will not be making “strange” faces to you, just waiting for you to pay and leave), and I kind of followed that cultural “obligation”, I still sometimes managed to take out my journal and write, mostly while waiting for my meal. And the funny thing is — I think they sometimes thought that I can be some restaurant critic so they became suddenly very nice with me. Especially if I mentioned just before that I’m from Paris. Haha! See how much fun you can have travelling and eating alone?
I am conscious that travelling alone is not for everyone, I truly am. But what I also know is that I wasn’t sure I could do it until I actually did it. My Mom has always taught me: “Don’t say you don’t like something before you even try it”. Well, that was mostly about food and when I was a small girl, but I think it perfectly fits many aspects of our life. Everything might seem scary before it is actually done. I believe that once you have a strong desire to do something (a bit of courage might be helpful of course), then just go and do it!
Be bold, follow your dreams and get yourself out there to the world! It’s waiting just for YOU!!!
